Acknowledgment

*This is the actual acknowledgment part of the thesis. :)*

While this project is mostly a personal achievement, I would like to take the time to thank those that influenced my life, contributed to the project at some stage and helped me get back on my feet when I thought I would never finish.

Completing this project is nothing short of a miracle. So, I would like to thank our Lord God for being the primary moving force behind this endeavor. He never did give up on me, so I didn’t either.

I would like to thank my family for their love and support. My mom, who was the primary inspiration for this project. She was the reason I wanted to create a project related to public health. My dad who, as I write this, is working hard overseas. Even though he couldn’t attend my graduation, I share this accomplishment with him. My ate and kuya who gives me the occasional nudge and lets me hog the computer when I really need it.

My thanks also to all the teachers I’ve had in my six years of college. Especially to my thesis adviser, Ms. Avegail Carpio. I couldn’t imagine doing my thesis with anyone else. Thank you to my course adviser, Dr. Peter Magboo. Thank you to Mr. Aldrich Co for helping me with the SVG aspect of my project. And to every single professor I’ve had from every department, it’s been an honor learning from you.

Thanks to my friends: Alex, Roan and Marian. Thanks for the constant encouragement and the appreciation. You’ve been like my family these past years and I couldn’t ask for better friends. Thanks to my aiki-friends: Rex, Vince, Pau and Micah for providing support in that part of my life. It was a bit of a challenge to make it work but with your help, I managed to get my black belt and my college degree in the same year. Thanks to my friends at SVCF for the fellowship, the prayers and the tambayan. :)

Thanks to Dr. Troy Gepte and the College of Public Health for some materials and consultation. Thanks to Thelma Paredes and the Manila City Health Office for the interview and information. Thanks to the Manila City Hall for providing the map. Thanks to PhilVolcs and MMDA for wasting my time. Thanks to VALVe for making great games that also waste my time, but in a good way. And lastly, thanks to Jenny Romanchuk, Katie McWilliams and everyone at www.thezombiehunters.com for getting me interested in epidemiology and geomatics.

What is a man?

What makes a man?

It's not age. A boy sometimes stays a boy. Years are not equivalent to experience. Is it experience then?

Perhaps. Experience makes a person grow. But experiences alone may turn a boy into something else other than a man.

What is a man?

A man is strength. Physical, not necessarily. A man is strong of mind. His will is iron. He has principles that are fair and uncompromising because he knows that they're right. A man is dependable. He is an anchor that holds a ship in place as it tosses about in a storm.

A man is responsibility. He has the ability to take action when it is needed of him. He has the capability to pursue goals for his own benefit and those around him. He is action and he does not wait for other to do his job for him.

A man is sacrifice. He knows what's important, and what is not. His life is lived for others first. His self takes second priority. He does not grow attached to things that would have to be someday cast off. He gives these things up unhesitatingly.

A man is pride. If nothing else, a man is pride. He takes pride in being a man. It is the only vanity which he allows himself.

A man is love.

My Special Sun.. and other nonsense

“My special sun”

Was how I described her.

I mean,

It was how you described her.

I see her everyday

And I think to myself

That woman is special

Everyone can see it

But she’s even more than that

To me…I mean, to you.

The way she walks,

The way she talks,

Even the way she sits and writes,

You love everything about her.

And that smile,

That smile saved

Your life.

In short,

you love her

in the most impossible way.

I wish she were mine.

No, I meant, I wish she were yours.

I wish she were mine.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yeah... and now i break my almost one year hiatus. Believe it or not, i actually check this blog regularly. I just didn't feel like exposing myself for whatever reason, however irrational.

What you read above is actually something i wrote a very long time ago. It was very personal at the time, or so i imagine. I don't actually quite remember exactly when i wrote it, but i remember why. In any case, it's quite irrelevant now. I just wanted to share something about me (or something that was about me.)

I've been quite dead for some time now. Well, not dead. But a part of me has been hibernating for some time now. Dreams, i think they call them. I've become the thing i swore i wouldn't be. Mindless, aimless and worse of all, unaware of how truly lost i was.

Fortunately, the Cosmos hasn't given up on me. I've been given a reminder of what i aspired to be, and of my previous efforts to reaching that goal. So, thank you, God, for your patience.

I am back on the road to infinity.

Defiance

I'm so f-ing tired. I spent the whole day climbing up and down a mountain, literally, mostly while barefoot. I had very little to eat, even less to drink. I'm exhausted, i'm bruised all over and i'm ready to collapse.

So, why am i writing?

Every action must have purpose, even this one. I am writing to prove a point--not only to prove a point through what i write, but prove it by the act of writing itself. If i take into account the conditions i've stated above, coupled with the facts that i have no drive whatsoever to be writing anything, and honestly, nothing really to write about, then practicality/logic/natural tendencies would imply that i should already be asleep on my bed. But no, i'm here in front of my computer, punching little black keys in the hope of writing something coherent.

I write to protest. I write to exercise my freedom. I write in defiance of my present condition. This is, according to Frankl, Man's Ultimate Freedom. I am not governed by my surroundings. My actions are not determined by the environment. I'll live and die in a manner entirely of my choosing. I choose, in spite of everything else. That, above all, makes a man free.


...
Excuse me while i die of exhaustion.

Cloudy

I look up at the sky and see nothing but gray. Clouds obscure my vision, the sun does not shine. The world has lost its color. I see no vividness in my surroundings. Everything is just gray.

There were times when i was most happy in cloudy weather, the time when others would feel depressed. (I've always found it interesting how moods are affected by the weather.) I found the sun oppressive and unrelenting. I would curse my unfortunate location on the globe. I was tempted to shut myself in my nice, comfy house. (Un)fortunately, men were not made to live such a life.

We are creatures of the day, after all. We are beings of light. As i grew, so did my understainding. Evolution, if you believe in it, has adapted us to function in daylight. We're to move in the day, work in the day, play and talk and eat in the day. So i learned to love daylight and sunshine, wonderful dawns and sunsets when the sun looks like a molten coin in the sky. I craved sunlight and i breathed it in. The sun gives me life as it does the Earth. With it, i clearly see the world around me.

Not today, though. Today, there's no sun. The reds are not as red, the world is not as beautiful.

Somewhere, the sun is shining. I hope, in time, it will shine on me again.

When I'm worthy.

8 years

"A young woman has told police she escaped a kidnapper after being held for eight years in a sealed garage, apparently resolving a missing child case that shook Austria." ... more

Wow. 8 years is a long time. I can't imagine being locked up for eight long years.

She was taken in 1998. I was 12 years old then. It was probably nighttime in my part of the world when it happened. I was probably asleep.

And then what happened? I graduated from elementary. I went to high school. I made friends. and some enemies. I travelled. I played sports. I learned a lot of things. I finished high school. I went to college. I contemplated God. I planned my life. I conquered my fear. I loved. I hated. I changed. I grew up. I lived.

But not her. All that time she was just in that room. Nowhere to go, nothing to do. No one to be with. Nothing. She was just there. Static and unchanging. Almost as if she didn't exist.


So, what's happening now?

Fellowship

Fun.
Food.
Friendship.
These are things everyone enjoys. Tonight i experienced something i've sorely missed in my life -- fellowship.

Tonight was a good night. I laughed with people, i clapped with people. I played party games for the first time in years. I acted in a skit that was prepared in less than a minute. I didn't care if i looked silly. I talked with a teacher who shared with me her spiritual revelation. I shared some of mine. I prayed with all my heart. I stood in a circle holding hands. I sang with my eyes closed.

All these things i never saw myself doing. Yet there i was, enjoying myself in the company of good people. My fellows. My friends.



~~
We asked for the Spirit, and it came down upon us. It entered our hearts and made us glow, and we were as stars.