One wonderful thing about being human and having a highly-evolved brain is the ability of self-analysis. In one of my sessions of contemplation (read: staring out the car window), i came up with this intersting revelation: people expect me to conform to a stereotype, and worse, i did too.
People always describe me as a shy, quiet, serious person. They are more or less correct, i am a shy, quiet and serious person most of the time. But in my view, i'm also quite obnoxious, fun-loving, temperamental and impulsive. I like telling jokes and i like dancing. People know that i don't play sports nor do i follow any sporting event. I am, however, quite involved in martial arts (which people see as a sport but it actually isn't).
The problem arises when people get narrow view of my personality. They become so accustomed to that view that they see anything else as an aberration. In turn, it made me feel insincere about myself. I was confused at why i acted very shy at certain times and very sociable at others. I hypothesized that i was repressed or insecure. I thought the timid part of me wasn't really me, but some psychological disorder i had to put an end to. I sought to rectify the matter by having a 'homogenous personality', that I would not seem out of character. I was not very happy.
The solution is in acceptance. People have very complex personalities, we are not stereotypes. I simply am comfortable showing a certain traits at certain times. It doesn't mean that i'm insincere, nor does it make the other facets of my personality any less valid. We should not be bound by 'what should be'. We are what we are.
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4 comments:
^Yeah, i sometimes relive past mistakes and feel awful about them. Even ones that happened a decade ago.
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